In this space

I'm not sure when it started but I realized I have been placing so much worth in whether a guy find me attractive, even when he's a total stranger. Like I always see being attractive to men is the most important thing I can be? I really want to stop that but I have no idea how?

It's so difficult to stop looking at the mirror. I keep pinching my arms, belly, and thighs all the time. It's really hard to stop that because it actually gives me a reassurance that I am not gaining any weight after I eat. Please help.

I'm really trying but every time I will just go back to how I was before. I feel like no one can understand what I am going through right now. I thought losing weight would make me more likely to be liked by others. Over time, it became normal to not eat because I would feel guilty after eating. But I realized that my body is getting weaker now. My hair started falling more.